Apathy
by Iulia
Summary: [Kurotomo][Drabble]He promised to protect both of them.  His choice was between two promises.  The one he made earlier just happened to be more important.  He would rather let the whole world rot than let Tomoyo die before he did.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles**

**A/N: This is a dark take on the KuroTomo relationship… how far he would go to protect her and stuff… Read and Review please. **

* * *

**APATHY**

* * *

What he hated about her was her smile. Nothing could surprise her. She saw the future in her dreams. As a result, nothing could provoke her emotions. Maybe that was the reason for her apathy, she already knew what was going to happen, so when it does, she expects it and she already felt what it was that she needed to feel. 

When she told him her message, she was smiling. If you looked closely though, you would have seen that her mouth was twitching slightly, the smile not quite reaching her eyes like it usually did. But he never was one to see the tiny details. He couldn't even see the glossiness of her eyes… how… wet they seemed. All he could see was her apathetic smile.

He could take anything; anger, hate… anything… just not apathy.

He wanted to see her 'feel', for crying out loud. It didn't seem fair that she could hide her emotions, feel them in advance at night right after she dreams so that she could hind them behind her smile when the time came. It wasn't fair… she would never be surprised. He, on the other hand, would never know what hit him until it was too late. She could wear a mask, whereas he would have to keep his heart out on his sleeve. Naked emotion, exposed to all the spectators who cared to watch.

He did not want her apathy.

He wanted nothing more than to wipe it off her face.

He destroyed everything… everything he learned on his long journey to other worlds… everything… he even destroyed his friends' trust in him… he destroyed his friends' hope… and to his pleasure, he destroyed her apathy too.

What he found when he peeled her mask of apathy off though, wasn't something he was prepared for.

He had never seen her cry before.

He never thought that simply keeping her from fulfilling what she ought to have done would destroy her mask… maybe she was weaker than he thought…

"I'm sorry Kurogane…"

"…"

Anyone who saw them would be perplexed. He seemed to be the one who sinned and yet she was the one apologizing. The bruises on her wrists were testament to that. It was absurd.

But really, it was she who was at fault. She hurt him more than he could ever hurt her.

"You should be sorry too, Kurogane…"

"I'm not."

"I shouldn't have told you… I shouldn't have said goodbye."

"I would've never forgiven you.

"You let her die… I told you not to. She was important."

"I don't regret it."

"I'm really sorry, Kurogane. I didn't want to make you choose. But you were supposed to choose her."

"Their cause wasn't worth dying for."

"Yes it was."

"…"

"I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have said goodbye…"

He wasn't really in a forgiving mood. What he had to do really hurt. Maybe, in time, he would forgive her… just not now.

He made his choice, and it was one he would never regret. Syaoran and Fye probably hated him now… But what was he supposed to do, give her up? What was he supposed to do if he found out that he had protected someone just so they could die for someone else?

No, he was never selfless.

If anything, he was selfish.

"_Kurogane-kun, ohoho, I think I may have to say goodbye to you now. I'm glad that I got to see you one more time. I missed you while you were gone, you know? Ohohoho… I never thought I'd admit that… anyway, thank you for protecting me for all these years."_

He knew what her cryptic words meant. The situation was clear. Only Tomoyo could save Sakura but it would cost her her life. And he'd be damned if he let her die. And so, He prevented Tomoyo from doing anything rash by grabbing her wrists. She tugged but she couldn't pull away. He had to thank the gods that he was physically stronger than her. Moments later, he was blasted away by Tomoyo's magic. He wasn't able to delay her for more than a few seconds, but it was enough. When she finally got past him, it was too late to save Sakura.

The enemy got hold of Sakura and in a matter of months, the world would end. Sure, Fye and Syaoran would try to do something. But it would be futile. And he didn't regret what he did… he was faced with a choice. Save Sakura or save Tomoyo. The choice wasn't that hard to make. He promised to protect both of them. His choice was between two promises. The one he made earlier just happened to be more important. He would rather let the whole world rot than let Tomoyo die before he did.

Besides, it was better to die together at the very end than spend the rest of eternity alone.

* * *

Fin. 


End file.
